Susan Elisabeth Stanley
February 8, 1953 — February 2, 2007

Life! I know not what thou art,
But know that thou and I must part;
And when, or how, or where we met
I own to me‘s a secret yet.
Life! we‘ve been long together
Through pleasant and through cloudy weather;
‘Tis hard to part when friends are dear-
Perhaps ‘twill cost a sigh a tear;
Then steal away, give little warning,
Choose thine own time;
Say not Good Night, - but in some brighter clime
Bid me Good Morning!

(Anna Letitia Barbould   1743 - 1825)

Sue and I were together for a long time; we were just one month shy of our 32nd wedding anniversary and were together for a few years before that.  For the better part of four decades we became almost as one person, two sides of the same coin, as we traveled on our journey through life together.  We shared the rough and the smooth and were always there for each other.

It was a journey that took us from Wales to England, back to Wales and then finally over here to America, where we remained for the past 25 years.  Along the way, we had three children, one of whom gave us our first grandchild.  She adored all of them and there was nothing she would not have done for any of them.

Sometimes we would talk of the future and where the journey might lead us still.  We felt that there was probably at least one more move on the horizon.  I figured we were good for at least another 32 years.

But it was not to be.  At around 6:00 pm on Friday, February 2nd, 2007, the journey came to a sudden and tragic end.  Sue collapsed from a heart attack and all attempts at resuscitation failed.

It was a bolt out of the blue and we were all completely devastated by it, unable to comprehend the terrible event that took place that day.  It was not supposed to end like that.  There is a huge void in our lives, which have forever changed.  Nothing will ever be the same again.

As I write this, six months after that fateful day, the emptiness, sadness and disbelief linger on.  The sense of loss is profound and, at times, completely overwhelming.

I know, too, that she touched a great many other hearts.  In the days that followed, I had to make so many difficult phone calls.  A lot of people cried a lot of tears.  We are left now only with our memories.

These photos are from happier times and are some of my memories. Click on them for larger images.

Sue had remarked on more than one occasion that she wanted her ashes to be scattered over an area known as the Panorama in Wales, near Llangollen.

Accompanied by her brother and sister, my sister and their respective significant others, I carried out her wishes.

We trekked a little way up the mountain until we found a spot that we liked.  It had a nice view of Castell Dinas Bran (left), sometimes known as Crow Castle.

There was also a large triangular-shaped rock (right) there that will serve as a marker for future visits.  We placed roses in the ground around the rock and wondered if any of them would take root and grow.

A poem I wrote:

Memories

Another time, another place,
A tender kiss, a warm embrace,
Memories time can’t erase.

Thinking thoughts of you…

Remembering when you were there,
Your smiling face, your long dark hair,
All the times we used to share.

Thinking thoughts of you…

The things we used to say and do,
Special moments we both once knew,
Moments that were far too few.

Thinking thoughts of you…

Memories, of those days gone by,
Memories, that will never die,
Memories, of you and I.

Thinking thoughts of you…

Always thinking thoughts of you…

Love you forever, Mike

A poem Sarah wrote:

-My mother, my best friend-

Never in my wildest dreams
Could I imagine this...
To stand up here in front of you
And tell you what I miss.

I miss her smile, I miss her laugh,
I miss her warm embrace.
Each time I glance a mirror near
I see my mother’s face.

Our family here, no longer whole...
Emotions strong and wild.
My mother was a gentle soul;
Within her heart, a child.

Before her eyes, her children grew,
My father at her side.
And now that I'm a mother too
I know all of her pride.

I never thought I'd be so young
When my mother left this earth,
Our lives had only just begun...
Her life had so much worth.

To me she was my mother dear,
My best friend till the end...
Her only daughter standing here
My broken heart can't mend.

I love you mum. Always.

Your daughter,
Sarah
xoxoxoxoxoxo
 

One of Sue's friends sent her this e-mail:
 

Sent: Sunday, February 04, 2007 1:46 PM
Subject: Goodbye

My Dearest Susan,

I can’t believe this will be the very last email I will ever write to you. You have left without a goodbye.

We have known each other three short years, meeting, we thought, by chance on Rootschat in November 2004. Later we knew it was our two Dads in heaven who got together and said…these two have got to meet, they need each other. And so we did.

We knew each other instantly. Soul mates from the beginning. We shared our thoughts and feelings and became sisters because of it. We enjoyed the same things, films, books, music, and most of all researching our family history, which we revelled in.

I came to know and love your beautiful pets, Sophie, Jenny, Emma and Tasha. We had a mutual love of animals which also bound us together. You always worked so hard around your house, you never seemed to give yourself time. You devoted yourself to your family, you were selfless and kind and such a gentle thoughtful human being.

Your little grandson Dylan filled your life with love, he was the apple of your eye and brought you so much joy. I am so glad you met him and spent time with him before you left so suddenly.

Now you are with your Mum and Dad, and Sophie and Jenny. You will be so happy to be with them again. I know how much you grieved for them and missed them all so much.

I have our photo on the wall in front of me when we met at Tarporley in July 2005 and spent that lovely day wandering round Eaton, and I see you every day. Above it is a photo of you holding Dylan soon after he was born, you look so happy being the proud grandmother.

I shall miss you more than words can say dearest Susan, but you will remain in my heart forever my special friend.

I know you are with the Angels and shouldn’t grieve so, but a light has gone out in my life and it will never be the same again.

Goodnight and goodbye dearest friend.

Love and of course the biggest (((((((((((HUG))))))))))) ever.

Sue xxxxxxx

There was an online guestbook available for one month.  I captured the entries before it disappeared.  Here they are: